Just Engaged? What to Do First When Planning a Wedding

The first weeks after getting engaged are where most wedding planning mistakes are made.

Not because couples don’t care, but because excitement leads to action before clarity. Venues get bookmarked, advice gets crowdsourced, and suddenly you’re busy without actually moving forward.

If you want to plan your wedding yourself, this checklist shows you what to do first, before decisions start stacking and you become overwhelmed.

Step One: What to Do First When Planning a Wedding

Before venues, budgets, or timelines, you and your partner need alignment.

Talk through:

• What matters most to each of you

• What you care less about

• How you want this experience to feel, not just how you want it to look

This conversation sets the tone for every decision that follows. When couples skip it, frustration and costly pivots usually show up later.

Step Two: Choose a Guest Count Range You Can Stand Behind

You don’t need a finalized guest list yet, but you do need a working range.

Ask yourselves:

• Who must be there?

• Who would be nice to have?

• What size feels manageable and meaningful?

Guest count affects:

• Venue availability

• Catering minimums

• Rentals

• Staffing

• Overall budget

Planning without a number leads to wasted time and false options.

Step Three: Set a Budget Based on Reality, Not Averages

A budget is not a guess. It’s a boundary.

Start with:

• What you can comfortably spend

• Any financial contributions you know are real

• What you want to prioritize versus simplify

Online “average wedding cost” articles are rarely helpful. A strong budget supports your priorities. A weak one forces compromises you didn’t choose.

Step Four: Decide How You’re Going to Plan

Many couples assume they have to choose between doing everything themselves or handing it all over. That’s not true.

Ask:

• Are we planning this ourselves?

• Do we want guidance without full-service planning?

• Do we plan to bring in help later?

Your planning approach affects your timeline, expectations, and how you evaluate vendors. Decide this early so you’re not constantly recalibrating.

Step Five: Create a Simple Planning Timeline

You don’t need a detailed spreadsheet right now.

You do need:

• A rough wedding date or season

• An understanding of how long you have to plan

• Awareness of major milestones ahead

  
  

This keeps you from reacting to advice that doesn’t apply to your situation.

What Not to Do in the First Weeks

Before you start booking or buying:

• Don’t book vendors without clarity on guest count and budget

• Don’t purchase décor or attire without understanding your venue

• Don’t crowdsource every decision online

• Don't start pinning everything on Pinterest

  
  

More information does not equal better decisions.

Starting in the Right Order Changes Everything

Wedding planning doesn’t require doing everything at once. It requires doing the right things first.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed early on, it’s usually not because you’re incapable. It’s because clarity

matters more than momentum.

If you want a clear order of operations, honest feedback, and next steps tailored to your wedding, this is exactly what my Sounding Board sessions are designed for.